Flub.

Blunder, faux pas, gaffe, misjudgment, oversight, slight, slip.

These are some of my favorite fancy ways of saying "mistake." The one in the title is number one on the list though. It has that "onomatopoeia" quality. Just like "boom" or "cuckoo" it sounds exactly like what it is.

So the Memorial Day parade last week was a big big (take your pick). I won't mention the business owner's name here, because it has already gotten play on our website and will be in tomorrow's paper. I'm sure he wants to forget about it just as much as I want to forget about that time in sixth grade that I choked during the school spelling bee and asked, "Could you use that word in a sentence?"

I was asked to spell "toothpaste." Doh!

I was nervous, young and would rather be pelted by a million bazillion dodge balls than speak in public. These were my reasons, just as there are reasons for the offending float. It was a poorly produced spoof of a cultural phenomenon that the creator thought would be universally recognizable. Maybe the demographics just weren't there. The American Legion people did say that most of the parade bystanders were parent or grandparent age and the rest were small children, and iPod is aimed at late teens to 20-somethings.

I've taken a marketing class or two in college, and if I recall correctly that's called "not reaching your demographic" due to "misreading the market." Misreading ... that's another synonym for mistake that didn't make my list. Too specific.

Anyone who saw the pictures in the paper or witnessed the parade had the right to be offended, but should forgive after hearing the explanation. After talking to several witnesses, the business owner who made the float, several people at the American Legion and even Village officials, it's clear that there's no bad guy here.

Actually, I would say that the float did a great service to the community. It grabbed everyone's attention, something that is very, very difficult to do these days. Trust me. I work in the newspaper business. We're all about getting your attention.

Based on my conversation with Post Commander Jim Dempsey, there was a lot more wrong with that parade than a misunderstood float. Participant vehicles recklessly cut in line, one of which had a license plate with a Confederate flag on it - not a standard I would carry anywhere near my home in Wayne County.

There was also candy throwing, which I never even would have dreamed of being a problem at a parade. But apparently children have been hit and killed by vehicles chasing candy that wasn't picked up right away, Dempsey told me. I asked Jim an obvious question. Who would you turn to to enforce that? And he said that the very groups and organizations he would need to cooperate with the Legion were throwing candy in the parade themselves. I'm not going to name names, but they know who they are.

Never mind the fact that many of the floats, the iPod float included, weren't even patriotic or respectful to the memory of those who have made the ultimate sacrifice ... who died for this country. Disrupting people's remembrance of them to get that all important attention isn’t just a (take your pick), it's a dishonor.

I have a feeling that Dempsey will squeeze these lemons into lemonade.

If he can get his American Legion post, and possibly others, to tighten up how they handle these parades in the future, and even institute some kind of screening and/or application process, then that's only a good thing.

The antonym of (take your pick).

That's your free mad lib vocabulary lesson for the day.

Sean Dalton
The Dexter Leader